Tuesday, March 22, 2016

You should...

Save me?! I got this!
A few months back, I had a rather astonishing and all together enlightening conversation with a man I liked. Really liked him actually. Older(I mean over a decade older) in age, but far far younger in maturity levels(pre pubescent at best.)

Anyway I'd gone over to drop of some freshly baked scones on my way to being awesome in my day and he was watching some Bear Grylls type adventure show and he turned and said to me, "you should do one of these, you'd be really good at it..." Resounding confusion within and without my entire being, I look at him confused and manage to utter a, "why?!!!!!" He swiftly responds, saying, "because you live alone and you are so good at  living alone and taking care of yourself and getting stuff done, you'd be able to tackle this show." So because I am a single woman, living in an apartment alone, I can tackle the wild outdoors and the unknown woods... Okay... What the hellity hell? BUT, oh wow, did this get me thinking and confirming. Did I ever just get whipped upside the head with some clarity and perspective.

He my dear bloglets, made me realise something I've been speculating not just about him, but about a lot of men in general, the whole notion that the male/ female relationship dynamic requires an almost inordinate amount of lady saving on the part of the man. Rescuer syndrome one of my more enlightened guy friends said his therapist had diagnosed him with and asked him to look for in forming future relationships. I do wonder what it is though that has men feeling the need to throw out life lines in relationships. Is this the male perspective of the "knight in shining armour" tale we all get spun as kids? These tales are causing havoc in real life dating..

Are we talking about this out there? I'm not on some I am all woman hear me roar type campaign, but I am really concerned that  being able to live alone and thrive and manage my life in some order, means renders me in some ways undateable?! I don't want someone to date me when I am in a position when I am feeling less than myself, or I am compromised in some sense, for me that does not a healthy relationship dynamic make. I have no firm answers on this yet, but that comment made me infinitely sad and simultaneously had me seething with anger and then oscillating between confusion and a little bit more anger if I must be honest. Not something I had not said to him before, but saving someone and this hero complex is seemingly easy, because you are so involved in the saving and fixing that you never ever have to be fully present emotionally and as you are, as that partner. When I am secure in myself, you arrive as you are and I want to be with you and all of you. We would both have to arrive and have feelings and be vulnerable and get upset and sometimes hurt each other and be involved in more ways than the exchange of goods and services.

When you're saving and fixing, that's what you're busy doing. Very rarely does the fireman ever get involved in the victim he saves from the burning building's life forever. It is not an emotional connection, it is highly perfunctory really. Saving is often about the saver really. Not altruistic.. They want to be heroes. Bless. We cannot save anyone from themselves. Let's put that in the tales please. Each one, must be able to fix oneself.

I don't know what my final comment is on this yet. The liking still lingers on my part. We did not land up together, I guess because I could take on Bear Grylls with my great skills at unlocking my apartment door, cooking for my self in my electrified and heated apartment and buying and driving a car of my own accord! Eek!

I mean by all means, someone, anyone can save me from sorting out new tyres and onerous tasks like filling up my car and changing light bulbs, but from myself, adore me, don't save me. It's way more fun, for both of us.

;)


Friday, March 18, 2016

Friday.. hey!


Come on darling, let's go be adventurers! {source}

I've been saying , lately, over and over in my head, "beware the ides of March". Interesting, perhaps that's why they came in strong perhaps. What a week and actually, what a month it has been so far! Lessons upon lessons, which is not a bad thing actually. Greatest lesson, be gentle with myself. Why is it so hard to listen to my precious body and my heart.

I am exhausted. My tired is tired. So let me see what I plan to do about that. Get all my work done, so I can put my little tootsies up.Ooh and hopefully get another little massage for my tootsies.

Here is my little reading list for you lovelies...

I will be washing my pillows and putting them in the sun
I need to get my headspace right
Calm is needed
This cord is beautiful 
My crush is forever on Margaret Zhang


Be adventurers lovelies.

xx

Monday, March 14, 2016

Moody Monday



and the beginning...YOU CAN!
The Joburg Sky was a lot grey this morning. I have a feeling I'm like my nephew and my spirit is  oddly not that in tune with grey clouds. Cue sunshine music please! In need of those soothing, sunny rays.

I'm stressed lately, I have to be honest about it. While I'm no mama to a new born, I still do require some sleep, which my own stress is making rather tough I might add. Then again, if this article is anything to go by, we don't talk about our tired. 

I don't like spinning, but it feels a bit like that's going right now. I jut need to focus on the here and now and taking charge of my life.

Because, I can. That is the beginning and end of it all.

Xx

Friday, March 11, 2016

Helloooo...



Keep your standards on pointe!

It's me! I'm so grateful that it's Friday, I could just jump up and scream. It's no secret, that this week has been trying in my life, but we live to see another weekend! Hello from Friday side.

I've let a lot of things get to me this week. Yes I'm human. Welcome to that part of myself! One of Don Miguel Ruiz's 4 Agreements says, "Don't take anything personally." This person caught a lot of personal feels this week. It was most draining and most unnecessary and I promise me, I'll do better today.

Now a full weeekend to look forward, but first we make great work of Friday and then we see from there.

Here is my wee reading list for you:

Will this week's eclipse come with someMarch Madness?
Health is really tops of my wealth agenda!
Keeping fit in this gear may make it even more fun!
I would really like to update my kitchen
 
 
Have a beautiful weekend love beans.
xx

Tuesday, March 8, 2016

Try me Tuesday


My mom does a thing which frustrates and hurts my feelings too, she really is often afraid to try. As I've got older I realised that my mom is a person, with a past and scars and healing that she has not got to yet, so I need to be gentler with her and the things she is afraid to do. I might thing is amazing and capable of achieving so much, but often we don't see ourselves as others see us,only as we are inside.

Fear that terrible little liar and captor has all of us in places that we often should not be. My mantra this year has literally been somewhere along the lines of, "bye fear Felicia."

Why also does my mom not wanting to try get to me? Well as humans things that irk us in others, bring to light something inside of us, touches a nerve. If we didn't have it, we wouldn't see it in someone else.

So I'm also averse to trying sometimes and so hence this post. It is so important to try stuff. How do you know that you may not love it? I went on a blind date one Tuesday last year, which was something I'd not tried before. I met the most amazing man, who looked at me like I was magic. We are not together, but imagine if I had not tried.

try, before you buy. It does not just apply to purchases, but experiences in life.

Think about...TRY something. Try something new, try something not so new again, try... It's really part of living I'm discovering.

Boldness to your wonderful, trying hearts. Magic everywhere!

xx

Monday, March 7, 2016

Marvellous Monday

Where to get these little beauties
It's Monday again! Can we believe it? Time to pull up our proverbial boot straps or rather super styling tongues of these beautiful sneakers. They are super beautiful.

So much to do, so much to say, all in one glorious day. How do we do it? get started! One foot in front of the other, one finger in front of the other as you type, one click after the other. One No = one YES to something you want. Focus on the things you want. Really get your mind around it!
It is a most powerful thing, this beautiful mind we each have, working on in its own magnificence.

Kindess on everything. Speak your truth boldly and with immense kindness.

And as my beautiful nephew said to his twin one day when they were playing, "BELIEVE IN YOURSELF!'

xx

Tuesday, March 1, 2016

Happy Birthday Sister!

Birthday and life inspiration from  here

It's my older sister's birthday today. HAPPY HAPPY LOVELY woman!! Wishing you the best day ever... In honour of her birthday, I'll just be posting a list of a few things that would strike her fancy...

Here is a little reading list for her:
We're crazy about kids in our family, so she'd love a conversation with a two year old
Chocolate cake for her birthday cake (of course)
She's been talking about learning something new, Dance classes may appeal to her on this list
She loves peanut butter , so this is kind of apt
She loves a little read of her horoscope...
Oh and her absolute fave...laughing

Happy Tuesday and an excellent start of the month to you!
 
xx
 
















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