Thursday, September 30, 2010

This is what my ex-boyfriend would wear

Dolce&Gabbana spring/summer 2011
Image courtesy of dolcegabbana.com



What?! Well fashion is great, but fashion blogs are a plenty and I'm not in that field, so makes no sense.But there are looks and likes I have and my ex-boyfriend has the body of a real life adonis and can pull off clothes the ordinary male species couldn't...and I look at clothes sometimes or I come across things and I thought yes he'd wear this, should wear this or could really pull this off.More than anything it is an ode to the beautiful man he is outside and in, but also a note to us to be grateful for the people that enter our lives and the wonderful lessons and memories that they leave with us and also to the fact that they are still around in some ways.This is about forgiveness too, not of people who wronged us,that's easy, they didn't do us wrong in isolation, we had a part to play too.It is about forgiving ourselves and also realising that the things we don't like in others are often little itsy bitty things we might ourselves have that we only get perspective on, once we see it in someone...But the best thing about finding or coming across these clothes that my ex-boyfriend would wear,is just the overarching feeling of love,a great profound, comforting, enveloping,wear his t-shirt in the morning simple love.That and the fact that he is one human being who represents art in motion...

 



A little Vuitton pour homme.Image courtesy of mycolorfashion.com



Dolce&Gabbana Image courtesy of Fashionfame.com



Image courtesy of thefashionables.com
 
Dolce&Gabbana Spring/summer 2011
Image courtesy of dolcegabbana.com



More the Bottega Veneta look on the far right that he'd rock inordinately well.
Image courtesy of tmagazine.blogs.nytimes.com




Sunday, September 12, 2010

Vanilla for DETOX

I need to on so many levels!Get it all out of my system. All the toxins! I think that means some people too. I think detox is about letting go! Frankly that's what it is I think! Letting go! Sometimes it just feels a little tougher than others. I'd rather be on a juice fast than realise the obvious that some people in my life, I can't keep in my system if they are of no benefit or I can't just figure out what they are really doing there in the inner recesses of my heart most particularly! Tough detox that one!

Today I had a detox body wrap, which smelt like Vanilla!Great metaphor for my life currently I thought! Comforting more than great. At least if I have to let some yucky stuff go, at least I can smell nice! That coupled with a dry float bed, which really was great in terms of release.Letting go and letting myself flow...at!

I'm miserable today!Just  down, miserable is SOOO over the top! Tired, drained and willing those outstanding invoices to be paid out to me!!!Aaah!!!
The Kiss by Gustav Klimt

Back to detox...mmm letting go...there's a lot of that I need to do.And forgive!Myself for what I've done to myself and not forgiven myself for.Ooh, let it all out.Maybe I should go for a little crying too!My tear ducts could do with some detox of their own.Not to mention my poor heavy heart! I'm sad, that cannot be denied.Though My current unquenchable thirst hints to my liver and kidney detox currently in effect, my heart needs a solid emptying and letting go itself!

But the insides are in serious detox.And NO not the ones you think!! My heart! My soul is letting go and my heart is a little sore I must say.Letting go makes you wonder and REFLECT oh boy looking back upon or just looking forward upon is daunting, daring and darn right scary!eek!!

I have made some major cuff ups in my life.So closed to all the wonderful things that life has to offer.Unconscious,conscious, whatever, when you know better you do better!Tallyho, who knows.Now I'm starting to I guess! This is difficult!From the inside out!! I'm wrung out from the insides.This is like a life yoga twist, wringing out my insides! Feelings that need to go.

The phone is empty of the people I don't know, shouldn't know, don't want to know anymore, because they're not good for me.Sadly my life is also empty of some people who meant a lot to  me, because I was not open to them loving me.What nonsense is that?!Strange,but true,I did it, how about you?!

So now,I'm going to start running,got to run this fat out of my body too!Heaven,how did I let all this disaster befall me.Anyway It's over now.Well that part anyway.let's let the past be what it is.

It's a new year in my life.Spring has sprung and I'm a year older and that is a wonderful thing.

So here's to detox of the life kind...Letting go of all that needs to be gone and being open to everything and being equipped to know what to let go and what to hold onto with all my might, because contrary to my bizarre, often warped beliefs, it might and most probably is the real thing and it is good for me.

Light, love, happiness, adventure and more love.
And a big hug and kiss to myself.

It's gonna be sweet!!!

Letting go and getting go-ing.

* Image Taken from www.artnouveaushop.com

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Springing into Action

You know procrastination is crap!Quite frankly!It is annoyingly, so hesitatingly destoryingly, nonsensically, against my better judgement crap! I really don't like it, but I find myself there so often! WHYYYYYY!!!

It hurts my feelings quite honestly! I am desperately trying and honestly succeeding to get myself out of that space. I think with some success and really the benefits of non procrastination really have been incredible.Wait for it! I get stuff done and boy does that feel good.

You know I had to delve into it and discover what the hell my issue was.Why I was holding MYSELF back, because that is what it is quite frankly!Me, HOLD me BACK! From doing things from going out there and grabbing life and taking it for a good right ol LIVING ride! My brain is there, but my body and my soul are sitting back, quite sad actually and feeling terrible about being where I am physically and not where I envisaged.So in my head, it's fantastic and ALIVE, but in reality, feeling lazy and sloppy and unfulfilled and not good enough!

Well you know, that makes sense!Perfect sense, because I haven't felt good enough or believed that I am.Believed who I am quite frankl.Well didn't even know who I am anymore,because I got so caught up living what I think has really been a lie.Because what I often portray really isn't what I truly practice for myself. I've been dealing with this a lot lately and by dealing, I mean digging deep, asking questions and discovering what I don't really want to admit to myself out loud, but really HAVE to.Because I know that it's not like I haven't known this all along anyway!But going to find those things and look at them head on.Going to that dark,manky place where you want to look at it fleetingly through one SQUINTING eye, rather than with both eyes open.So I've been going for it, with eyes WIDE open and well firstly it's not that scary.It's not nice,but really going for it makes it so much easier to deal with.Strange, but so very true.

Can you imagine how hard it is to realise that all those beautiful things that people see of you, really are true!I can't be together all the time and why would I want to be.That was the problem in the first place.

I have learnt so far, that my parents are people and they are doing the best they are able to do.And their affirmation is not confirmation of who I am. Hard one.Maybe, no wait scratch that, DEFINITELY I have to start the so confident in myself and so proud of myself train of thoughts and actions and others will hop on too.Noone wants to ride a train from nowhere to nowhere!

I was tired, tired of not being who I am and hiding and running away.So tired.I now want to take up running, because I'd like to experience the actual sport and sensation that others speak so fondly of! I want to dance with others watching!I want to laugh and smile without feeling self conscious that my father will think I'm not serious about life.I am very serious about life and I'm even more serious about sending some serious smiles and inexplicable joy into everyone else's universes!I am so serious about perfecting happy for myself and everyone I encounter.And pat on the back to me, because that is a damn good thing.Any while Daddy might not view it as a profession, it is a damn good passion from where I'm standing and the benefits for all involved cannot EVER be translated into anything of monetary equivalence!

1st Day of spring, though apparently that too has been moved to the 13th September.I'm not leaving it till then!How does that song go?!"Starting here,starting now..." I need to get moving and carry on with getting done what I've planned to do today TODAY!No more procrastination.Firstly, because I don't want to feel crap and I'm so tired of holding myself back!As I said initially procrastination is crap!That is not a feeling to relate to!


Spring has sprung, why not burst open and blossom like the gorgeous pink flowers on a plant I don't know outside my window.

Opening the door, stepping out and springing into action!
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