On edge

From here

I have no intention of jumping off any ledge. No dramatic feelings like that... No ways, but I am on edge, on the edge, precipice (isn't that a great word), on the precipice of my own existence. By golly gosh, I sound sooo dramatic!

But in truth. I don't know what I'm doing with my life. While I'd like to be okay with not having a serious plan so to speak, I'd like to have one for the sake of my mother and father for starters and even myself in some measure. Plans comfort me, not that I do something will all my plans, but they are my buffer or rather my security blankie of sorts. Super irony is that some of them don't land up making me feel all that secure, but rather super angst ridden. Gee whizz, when will I ever get it together.

Wait a minute...perhaps I do have it together? Maybe my darling mansies is right, I am very hard on myself and I tell myself a multitude of things which might be plagued with lashings of hyperbole! Oops!

I need a holiday. A break. I need to switch off and just listen. Listen to myself and perhaps the whisperings of the Universe. Therein lies the answer to this question that plagues the inner recesses of my soul...

"What do I want to do?"