Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Testing...it sure is testing...


Only weapon you need. Start with yourself. {source}

Yearly gynae check requires a lot of things, including my worst thing ever, needle in my arm blood tests! Eek! So when I get them done, I suggest we do all of them at the same time. Which of course included a full STI screen and an HIV test! Testing for Rhubella did not worry me as much, but the thought of Herpes, Hepatitis or HIV had me in a state...

I also wished we spoke about this more often and openly. I had someone I consider a friend, say the MOST IGNORANT thing, that she cannot be HIV positive, because she's too fat. Can you cope, because I couldn't hearing this.

Having been cheated on by my ex boyfriend, it made me worry even more about all of the above results, because cheating involves so much lying, dishonesty, disregard for my feelings, my body, safety and literally leaving me open to attack.

Results came out and all good, but still, it just makes me remember just how important it is to know this stuff. You see all these fancy cars, fancy watches and people just behave in the most unfancy ways. These beautiful temples that are our bodies are so precious and we need to treat them as such.

As a woman, I need this beautiful, blessed vessel to carry my most precious future babes, so I ensure that it is in 100% shape for that precise reason. I cannot help that some people may not be willing to treat me as I should be treated, but I also take FULL responsibility for my poor choices fuelled by lower self esteem, self doubt and a misguided need for acceptance.

However, when we know better we do better. We better do better! This is as stern a message to myself, more than anyone else.

This blogger writes about her stress of receiving a false positive HIV Test result. I often worry (it's so deeply in my nature this worrying thing), I often worry that I will get a false negative. I'm undoing this damaging way of thinking, because that will not make me great. It still saddens me to see stats from Unicef stating that though there is a 58% drop in new HIV infections in girls 0-14 years since 2001, TODAY, girls, aged 15-19 still account for neary 2/3 of all new HIV infections among adolescents.

This is still happening in 2015?! As an only slightly more grown girl, I can still see how it is possible for these girls to be having sex and unprotected sex with boys who care nought about them. Grown girls still do the same thing for a variety of reasons.

Let's stop it. One girl at a time. Go get your tests on! It's testing for sure. BUT you're doing it for you! You deserve to test, because you deserve the best. You need to know. Not just HIV! As my family physician says, Herpes is more permanent than marriage. Also why would you ever want gonorrhea?! The name itself is grossly garish enough to never want it anywhere near my precious parts.

People lie. These guys lie to get what they want or just to get you for this moment. Just because he sleeps with you doesn't mean he wants you. SEX is just a few motions, let's not trick ourselves please. We BEEN testing our limits.

Don't risk your life. Testing is scary for a little while. Not knowing is scary forever and not worth it honestly. Be responsible for you.

Love your bodies to bits

xx

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