Tuesday, September 17, 2013

It's you and well it's me too...

Breaking up is hard to do folks! Of any kind. I'm talking the love kind, the I'm not having this treatment from friends kind and well in my case I think I might just need to break up with my current employer. Not as attached as I would be to a boyfriend or something, but I generally am getting into the habit of only doing work I love and when I love something, me gets attached.

Some of my friends are going through stuff lately. Break up kinda stuff. The really hard kind, like divorce for one. The other had a guy she was madly in love with show everyone else who she'd been ignoring who he really is and how she does not deserve that in any manner of speaking. I've also witnessed interchanges between people, where I was like, "WHY ARE YOU POSSIBLY TOGETHER?"Moments of downright disrespect, disregard, plain old awfulness and really peering into the window of what I would say that ugly 'h" word for some. Why people why?!Life is so short and sometimes our days are long, but why not fill those days with as much of that happy stuff as we can.

The thing here is that while we know that love sometimes causes temporary lapses in the functioning of our synapses, but they come back on and some things we choose not see, because we want the fluttering butterflies to continue a little longer. Let me tell you something (I say this like I am an authority (hihi) this is just my ardent belief.) The right person will still give you butterflies at random intervals for the rest of your life, just to keep it interesting. Butterflies aren't what long term relationships are made of. More like butter dishes, that will sit in between you, as you share meals day in and day out for the rest of your lives. Exciting prospect, but what you talk about across those butter dishes might not be as smooth as butter all the time, but it has to be the truth and eventually you'll get through it. Only with the right person though, because that is the reason you want to stay and fight. Don't they say fight for what's right.

A therapist once told me that sometimes breaking up is the best thing two people can do. While I laughed then, more and more it makes sense to me now. Some situations, relations, relationships, interactions with certain people do not serve you and there will always be some sort of push/pull factor that is likely not to benefit all involved. Respect is a key thing to maintain, that is why leaving early is sometimes a good idea, before the last iota of will to maintain it completely erodes and everything descends into chaos and unbridled hurt.

Letting go is hard, whether it's your daily labour or love. I think it's the investment we feel we've made, the failure of "giving up", losing elements of a strange, frustrating and often unfulfilling familiarity, fearful of the unknown. So many more things that go unsaid and unadmitted right?

We all have a part to play in break ups. It's not you, it's me. Actually it's you and it's me.We both feel bleak about it too in our own way (though we may not show it). Maybe the term "break up" is what scares us the most. Well it makes me feel totally awkward and uncomfy. What can I call it, so it sits better within my soul...Mm I'm going to mull this one over for a bit...

Let go people. In your own time, at your own pace. Let noone treat you anything less than fabulously.

Be open to what life has in stall for you. No next relationship is a quick fix for what didn't work in the last ones, as no new job will be EVERYTHING the last one wasn't. Go for what speaks to you body, mind and soul. You'll know I think.

You'll think, I fit, almost perfectly.


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